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felis_lupusI... win?
Guh. Zombified. Saw the sun rise at LL Bean this morning, yet again. Is it sad that that felt "right"? When I was there the other night at 8:30 PM for snow clean-up, I kept expecting the sky to lighten, and it didn't... This morning we were treated to a lavender sky in the early hours, dotted with snowflakes (which have finally stopped falling). Was pretty.
Had planned on getting a few hours of sleep after the Burlesque (which was pretty good), ended up taking Syd home in 4WD (as the roads were awful), while J drove her car, came back to find a message of "helloooooooo???? Where are youuuuu?" on the answering machine, from about 20 minutes prior. Dang, was hoping he wouldn't call till 3 or so... Didn't even listen to the whole thing, not gonna. Good little employee that I am, I called right away, let him know I was on the way to the shop, and I would meet Michelle (my new shovel buddy...) there. Oh goody. Off to Portland about 20 minutes later.
Thank heaven for light, fluffy snow, even if it was several inches more than we'd expected. And drifty. And 8 degrees, with OHMYGODCOLD windchill for the entire morning. Just a few minutes into our routine, the familiar ache in my back and shoulders returned... ah yes... we remember this now... it's been what, 2 days? There was a new attraction on our snow shoveling tour as well... a huge, brightly lit, white statue of the Virgin Mary on the roof of the building next to the church near the Rite-Aid. I don't remember her being there previously, and coming around the corner to do the side steps, it was a little bit too close to Dr. Who for me. I cleared those steps faster than I ever have before, and got the heck out of there.
Otherwise did OK till we got to LL Bean, and then could not get the snowblower going. Did what shoveling we could, by the time we were done, Dennis had gotten there and started it for us (the boss had given me incorrect directions. Small wonder.). I had never used a snowblower before, and do not wish to again. Self propelled is great, if you have the body mass and strength to get it to go where you want it. I have neither on the best of days, less so after already doing 6 hours of shoveling. Stupid thing. I honestly don't think we saved any time at all using it, because we had to go back around and scrape the sidewalks afterward. Stupid thing. I will shovel 15 inches of snow before I attempt to use that machine again. The vibration killed my hands and arms, I spent an.. hour? I don't even know how long it took me... inhaling exhaust fumes, which did wonders for my sleep-deprived brain, and we had to go back and shovel afterward anyway. The wind did nothing to help us, blowing the snow right back over where we'd just shoveled it.
Radioed in this morning at 8:30, saying "Bean is done, unless there's anything else we need to go take care of, your frozen tired shovelers are headed back to the shop." Boss comes over the radio, asks me to repeat, I do, then says, "So what makes you two so special, that you get to go back to the shop and go home? The rest of us have been out for longer, and are still out here, and have been up since 8 yesterday!" I'm not sure if he was trying to be "funny" or "clever" or what, but the humor was rather lost on me. Too tired to snap back. Don't remember what I said, but it was followed by another stupid comment, which I refused to dignify with a response. Something about how "if I'd gone to bed when I said I was going to (10:30ish?), maybe I would be so tired... After a few minutes of radio silence, because I figured saying what I wanted to say would probably not even register, we were "OK'd" to head back to the shop. Stopped for a bagel and cocoa on the way, because we realized we were absolutely starving.
I did not complain about or even mention being tired, not once (to him, anyway), until it was time to go home. What lack of sleep I choose to do and abuse myself with is my own darned problem, I don't need to hear it from him. Being inside a heated plow truck is a heck of a lot better than outside in the freezing wind for 8 hours. We were the ones doing the lifting and moving of the snow, not the machine (and plowing isn't exactly easy on the body either, but at least it's WARM.). Driving makes one tired, I understand this, but we're all tired, and cranky, and just want to go home, and don't want to hear lame attempts to be funny. Once my brain is in order again (who knows when that will be), and I'm not so exhausted that I'm going to burst into tears if I try to say anything, we need to have a talk. I'm not going to do it over radio, even though the timing is probably appropriate, but the other guys don't need to hear me attempt to not freak out on the boss (though he probably deserves it.). Doesn't matter if I got no sleep, 20 minutes, or 8 hours. 8 hours of shoveling outside, in the cold, in the wind, is going to make anybody tired. I must refrain from cursing and swearing, as that just brings me down to his level, and really doesn't help my point any... argh. I'm too tired, even, to get properly worked up about this at the moment.
Went to bed at 10:30 this morning. I had been up since about 8 AM. Friday. Yes, my own darned fault. But I don't think that 3 or 4 hours of sleep would have helped a whole lot with tiredness after 8 hours of shoveling. Woke up at 5:30. Felt... kinda rested. Glad I staggered to the bank before heading home this morning, though I don't really remember the trip. Went to bed when it was light, got up when it was dark... that's not how this is supposed to work, is it?
It's going to snow more tomorrow, and on Wednesday, and on Christmas. Will I get to go home? Will I tell my boss to shove it and find another job? No... I'll stick it out... because there's not much else out there... But I do not think I will be doing this next winter. I can't control the weather, but I can take control over my own happiness and sanity.
Guh. Zombified. Saw the sun rise at LL Bean this morning, yet again. Is it sad that that felt "right"? When I was there the other night at 8:30 PM for snow clean-up, I kept expecting the sky to lighten, and it didn't... This morning we were treated to a lavender sky in the early hours, dotted with snowflakes (which have finally stopped falling). Was pretty.
Had planned on getting a few hours of sleep after the Burlesque (which was pretty good), ended up taking Syd home in 4WD (as the roads were awful), while J drove her car, came back to find a message of "helloooooooo???? Where are youuuuu?" on the answering machine, from about 20 minutes prior. Dang, was hoping he wouldn't call till 3 or so... Didn't even listen to the whole thing, not gonna. Good little employee that I am, I called right away, let him know I was on the way to the shop, and I would meet Michelle (my new shovel buddy...) there. Oh goody. Off to Portland about 20 minutes later.
Thank heaven for light, fluffy snow, even if it was several inches more than we'd expected. And drifty. And 8 degrees, with OHMYGODCOLD windchill for the entire morning. Just a few minutes into our routine, the familiar ache in my back and shoulders returned... ah yes... we remember this now... it's been what, 2 days? There was a new attraction on our snow shoveling tour as well... a huge, brightly lit, white statue of the Virgin Mary on the roof of the building next to the church near the Rite-Aid. I don't remember her being there previously, and coming around the corner to do the side steps, it was a little bit too close to Dr. Who for me. I cleared those steps faster than I ever have before, and got the heck out of there.
Otherwise did OK till we got to LL Bean, and then could not get the snowblower going. Did what shoveling we could, by the time we were done, Dennis had gotten there and started it for us (the boss had given me incorrect directions. Small wonder.). I had never used a snowblower before, and do not wish to again. Self propelled is great, if you have the body mass and strength to get it to go where you want it. I have neither on the best of days, less so after already doing 6 hours of shoveling. Stupid thing. I honestly don't think we saved any time at all using it, because we had to go back around and scrape the sidewalks afterward. Stupid thing. I will shovel 15 inches of snow before I attempt to use that machine again. The vibration killed my hands and arms, I spent an.. hour? I don't even know how long it took me... inhaling exhaust fumes, which did wonders for my sleep-deprived brain, and we had to go back and shovel afterward anyway. The wind did nothing to help us, blowing the snow right back over where we'd just shoveled it.
Radioed in this morning at 8:30, saying "Bean is done, unless there's anything else we need to go take care of, your frozen tired shovelers are headed back to the shop." Boss comes over the radio, asks me to repeat, I do, then says, "So what makes you two so special, that you get to go back to the shop and go home? The rest of us have been out for longer, and are still out here, and have been up since 8 yesterday!" I'm not sure if he was trying to be "funny" or "clever" or what, but the humor was rather lost on me. Too tired to snap back. Don't remember what I said, but it was followed by another stupid comment, which I refused to dignify with a response. Something about how "if I'd gone to bed when I said I was going to (10:30ish?), maybe I would be so tired... After a few minutes of radio silence, because I figured saying what I wanted to say would probably not even register, we were "OK'd" to head back to the shop. Stopped for a bagel and cocoa on the way, because we realized we were absolutely starving.
I did not complain about or even mention being tired, not once (to him, anyway), until it was time to go home. What lack of sleep I choose to do and abuse myself with is my own darned problem, I don't need to hear it from him. Being inside a heated plow truck is a heck of a lot better than outside in the freezing wind for 8 hours. We were the ones doing the lifting and moving of the snow, not the machine (and plowing isn't exactly easy on the body either, but at least it's WARM.). Driving makes one tired, I understand this, but we're all tired, and cranky, and just want to go home, and don't want to hear lame attempts to be funny. Once my brain is in order again (who knows when that will be), and I'm not so exhausted that I'm going to burst into tears if I try to say anything, we need to have a talk. I'm not going to do it over radio, even though the timing is probably appropriate, but the other guys don't need to hear me attempt to not freak out on the boss (though he probably deserves it.). Doesn't matter if I got no sleep, 20 minutes, or 8 hours. 8 hours of shoveling outside, in the cold, in the wind, is going to make anybody tired. I must refrain from cursing and swearing, as that just brings me down to his level, and really doesn't help my point any... argh. I'm too tired, even, to get properly worked up about this at the moment.
Went to bed at 10:30 this morning. I had been up since about 8 AM. Friday. Yes, my own darned fault. But I don't think that 3 or 4 hours of sleep would have helped a whole lot with tiredness after 8 hours of shoveling. Woke up at 5:30. Felt... kinda rested. Glad I staggered to the bank before heading home this morning, though I don't really remember the trip. Went to bed when it was light, got up when it was dark... that's not how this is supposed to work, is it?
It's going to snow more tomorrow, and on Wednesday, and on Christmas. Will I get to go home? Will I tell my boss to shove it and find another job? No... I'll stick it out... because there's not much else out there... But I do not think I will be doing this next winter. I can't control the weather, but I can take control over my own happiness and sanity.
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Date: 2008-12-21 03:38 pm (UTC)